Year In Review: Places

Places I've Traveled to (in order chronologically, I think):

Martin Dies Jr. State Park. Barcelona, Spain. Paris, France. Disneyworld. Escape (Camp Tejas). Camp Buckner (Burnet, TX). Port Aransas. Austin. Belton. Dallas. Norman, OK. Shawnee, OK. Austin. San Antonio. Galveston.

Technojoy

Okay, so let me just take a paragraph or three (or five) to talk about the fantastically thrilling state of technology. WARNING: This post contains geek levels previously unknown to this blog. Please enjoy. (and a note to Molly: I WILL be talking about cinematography. :)

Too often I forget how amazing all the technology we have is, and how recent it is, since it is fed to us over the course of time. But every once in too great a while I sit back and try to appreciate it all from the perspective of my junior-high-age self. What would myself eight years ago have said if I showed me an a touch screen phone? The state of 3D movies? The BBC's HD Planet Earth series? The size of my TV? The vast and virtually limitless amount of information I have in my pocket or within arm's length at literally any and every hour of every day?

I would be dumbfounded. Flabbergasted. My jaw would hit the floor.

I just got out of the 10:30 showing of Avatar IMAX 3D. Based on the quality of the CGI and the realism of the 3D by way of double-frame-rate digital film projection and non-red-and-blue polarized glasses, my brain could probably pass a lie detector test stating that I had, in fact, just spent 2.6 captivating hours on a planet called Pandora inhabited by 10 foot tall creatures called Na'vi, fighting for their lives and flying giant lizard bat things around floating mountains.

I didn't have a phone until eighth grade, when I was only allowed it for emergency use. I had a clamshell phone without internet or unlimited texting, without one touchscreen (let alone two), and without a QWERTY keyboard. Now I have a phone that can do basically anything I can fathom, and that's without jailbreaking it. No one even used cell phones until I was in junior high. Now with mine I can see any place on the planet, along with many not on this planet, I can download and play hundreds of thousands of games, many for free. I can order movie tickets, check and mess with my bank account, email, facebook, twitter, music, and TV shows.

My first game system was a nintendo NES, which played only in two dimensions and, less than one-hundred different colors. Now I can control three dimensional characters in millions of colors with a pointer at the end of my controller which isn't even connected to the console! (physically, anyway).

So yes, I am a geek. I love technology and it brings me joy to see isn't advancement and to contemplate what it will be in the future. I'm just trying not to forget to appreciate how ridiculously far we've already come! Isn't it mind-bending?!

Expect a future post on what I think about the future of 3D movies etc.!

That is all. :D

Science and Baking

This is possibly the most random topic I will ever blog about, but I just wanted to point something out.

Baking is possibly the least precise practice on the planet.

I laughed at myself just rereading that sentence now, but I think about it every time I make food from a recipe. I find it hard to reconcile the baker in me with the ex-science-olympian. How can I put any trust into a measuring system that insists that every recipe on the planet uses the same intervals of flour that are so different from one cup to the next? If measurements mattered in the baking world, then you would have things like "recipe calls for 1 1/2 cups 3 tablespoons and 1 teaspoon of flour at [this amount] of density" instead of "recipe calls for 2 cups of flour."

Anyway, there you have it. Also, this is why I laugh at people who measure anything larger than a tablespoon by scraping the extra off the top.

Heaven & Scrooge

You wrote a letter and you signed your name

I read every word of it page by page

You said you be coming, coming for me soon.

Oh, my God, I'll be ready for you.

Because I want to run on greener pastures

I want to dance on higher hills.

I want to drink from sweeter water

in the misty morning chill.

And my soul is getting restless

for the place where I belong.

I can't wait to join the angels and sing my heaven song.

I hear your voice and I catch my breath,

"Well done, my child, enter in and rest."

Tears of joy roll down my cheek

It's beautiful beyond my wildest dreams

I'm walking through the bright white gates

Breathing in and out your grace

All around me melodies rise

That echo with the joy inside

So I start to sing

But I can't sing loud enough,

I can't bow low enough,

I can't lift my hands high enough,

when I'm worshiping you my God.

Also, on a non-Phil-Wickham-song related note, I saw the new 'A Christmas Carol' movie today. It was really good. I was struck by the whole theme of it this time more than I usually am when I see a version of this story. The whole part about how Scrooge asks the guy collecting money for the poor on Christmas Eve, "Are there no prisons...And the Union Workhouses?...Are they still in operation...The Treadmill and the poor Law are in full vigour, then?" In the story it's obviously satirical, but how often do we hear things like this in the news? I know I've thought along those lines at times. And the part where Scrooge sees that under the robe of The Ghost of Christmas Present are the two emaciated children called 'Ignorance' and 'Want.' The whole thing just made me consider a how careless I am. How selfish I am. How can anyone, especially Christians, be this way?

And on that note, I shall leave you with an article by my favorite musician: Compassion vs. Consumption by Jon Foreman

You Should Probably Go Read This Article Right Now:

http://www.esquire.com/features/best-and-brightest-2009/shane-claiborne-1209

It's by Shane Claiborne. Apparently Esquire Magazine asked him to write a letter to non-believers and it has some really good points.

More on Thinking Styles and Synesthesia

Bear with me! This is me working out how my brain works, ha.

Sometimes I feel the need to belt a song out as loud as I can, and if
I don't my stomach gets all into knots. I think it can be attributed
to me feeling a strong emotion about something.

Today Pastor Mark's sermon was about love. This is a subject I feel
very strongly about. I spent the entire sermon wanting to sing an old
song my mom sang when she was in the choir called 'Only Love.' (I also
really wanted to sing Your Love is Strong, Your Love is a Song, and
Love's Going To Last) But I spent the entire sermon feeling off
because of the response I was having to the subject. I wanted to be
able to express how I felt about the subject be singing any of those
songs at the top of my lungs, then I probably would have felt better.

This leads to a topic I posted about a
long time ago about thinking styles and synesthesia (which is
basically the connection of two unrelated senses in the brain, i.e.
hearing colors). I have come to the conclusion that I think very much
in sights and sounds, never in words (or should I say written words, I
hear the words I'm thinking or I literally see the text of the word in
my head, whereas my brother, AJ, thinks more in terms of information.)
I think that probably the only reason I can write poetry is because of
the rhyming aspect, because I hear the words being spoken in my head.
I've never been very good at writing an eloquent essay unless I have a
sort of writing style in my head to follow. Most of my sentence
structures I use I have stolen from sentence structures I've heard
repeted a lot around that time.

How does this description me myself differ from your thought style?
This subject intrigues me!

A Great Quote

"My friend Anna works at a soup kitchen, a cafe downtown run by Catholics. I volunteered there one day, cutting celery, and there was another woman working who had a son who was autistic. Her son sat in a booth and stared at his hands, flicking his fingers in front of his face, watching them like flames.

The boy's mother said he was autistic and sometimes spaced out, staring at his hands, but because I didn't know what autism was, really, I figured he was more or less mesmerized by his existence. I was romanticizing the situation because the kid was probably distracting himself or daydreaming or something, but I thought maybe he was like Hamlet looking at his hands, thinking sincerely about what it means to have been born.

Back when I got out of high school, I used to think about stuff like that all the time. It was a phase, I think, but I used to suddenly realize I was alive and human. It felt like I was in a movie and had two cameras for eyes, and I'd swivel my head as if I were moving my cameras atop a tripod. I even wrote a poem about it and said we were 'spirit bound by flesh, held up by bone and trapped in time.' Back then I wondered why nobody else realized what a crazy experience we were all having. Back then I'd be lying in bed or walking down a hallway at college, and the realization I was alive would startle me, as though it had come up from behind and slammed two books together. We get robbed of the glory of life because we aren't capable of remembering how we got here. When you are born, you wake slowly to everything. Your brain doesn't stop growing until you're twenty-six, so from birth to twenty-six, God is slowly turning the lights on, and you're groggy and pointing at things saying circle and blue and car and then sex and job and health care. The experience is so slow you could easily come to believe that life isn't that big of a deal, that life isn't staggering. What I'm saying is I think life is staggering and we're just used to it. We all are like spoiled children no longer impressed with the gifts we're given--it's just another sunset, just another rainstorm moving in over the mountain, just another child being born, just another funeral.

[...] When Steve, Ben, and I wrote our characters into the screenplay, I felt the way I hope God feels as he writes the world, sitting over the planets and placing tiny people in tiny wombs. If I have a hope, it's that God sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me, specifically, into the story, and put us in with the sunset and the rainstorm as to say, Enjoy your place in my story. The beauty of it means you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you.

I've wondered, though, if one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don't want the responsibility inherent in the acknowledgement. We don't want to be characters in a story because characters have to more and breathe and face conflict with courage. And if life isn't remarkable, then we don't have to do any of that; we can be unwilling victims rather than grateful participants.

But I've noticed something. I've never walked out of a meaningless movie thinking all movies are meaningless. I only thought the movie I walked out on was meaningless. I wonder, then, if when people say that life is meaningless, what they really mean is their lives are meaningless. I wonder if they've chosen to believe their whole existance is unremarkable, and are projecting their dreary life on the rest of us."

--Donald Miller from A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

You really should give it a read. It's a fantastic book. Very inspiringly anecdotal. He tells stories inside the overall story that are so inspiring, it makes you want to get out and do something important.

seperation anxiety
hidden from society
feelings mean nothing
without some variety
frequent confusion
believing an illusion
time is relative
especially in seclusion
theories aside
trying to abide
this entire thought process
is just an aside...

Lately;

Oh goodness, my mind keeps telling me that it's tomorrow.

I'm so excited for this weekend! Friends I haven't seen in too long! Beautiful weather! (it's supposed to be sunny with a high of 70-75 all weekend in OK) :) Wonderful music! Oh, Jenny & Tyler.

On a non-related note, here's what I've been considering lately:

This is how I've observed life works: First, you aren't old enough to appreciate how wasteful you are, or how blessed you are. Then, at around late high school to college age, you realize that you throw away so much stuff every day, and that there are so many people who don't have on fourth of one half of on eighth of the stuff you have, so you try to fix all that. Then, you become disillusioned sometime after college. Is that how it works? That's the only way I can think of that explains why college people are so activistic, only to be content in 10 years. idk. Maybe I'm being harsh, but I hope that my desires to help others never leave.

This is kind of spawned from a debate I was having with a friend on facebook. But anyway.

Also, go listen to the new switchfoot CD! It's streaming on www.myspace.com/switchfoot. I did the 'pop out music player' thing and have been listening to it nonstop. I really love switchfoot.

Anyway, here's a morsel from the album:

"We lock our souls in cages, we hide inside our shells, it's hard to free the ones we love, when you can't forgive yourself!"

Also, you should go read Donald Miller's "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years"

That is all.

Let me tell you about something that happened to me the other day.

I had lunch with a friend, and the subject of politics came up. My friend is admittedly very, very conservative, while I am admittedly more left-leaning.

We somehow got onto the subject of abortion, and this is where things get odd: my friend told me they are pro-choice, while I am whole-heartedly against abortion.

We began to discuss why/how we had come to have our beliefs, and it was really intense. My friend told me that they are pro-choice because when my friend's mother was pregnant, there was something wrong with the baby, so she decided to get an abortion. Well, my friend was conceived in the time between when the first baby was due and the time of the abortion, therefore making it impossible for my friend to have been born if not for the abortion.

Vice versa, when my mother was pregnant with me, I told my friend, the doctor told my mother that she should probably get an abortion because I very likely would have a birth defect. Needless to say, I did not have a defect and my parents did not decide to have me aborted.

It's difficult to think about, isn't it? We didn't continue the conversation any further.

Again, I am against abortion, but it's a weird situation to think about.

This Week...

So, I've had a whole bunch of work lately! And actually, It's great. I really like working at The Container Store. The people all enjoy being there and try to have fun doing what they're doing. On Wednesday, I worked from 9 pm until Thursday at 5 am setting up the middle of the store for the Christmas thing they do called gift wrap wonderland. I must admit I enjoyed getting to see all the patterns of wrapping paper. There were a whole bunch that reminded me of 60s and 70s wallpaper, which was interesting. But I liked them. Like one looked like stylized woodgrain, and some had silhouettes of deer and trees. (Erin, you better not go into the container store anytime soon, because there are a HUGE amount of things that you would love. haha). But yeah, the graphic designer in me was saying "You should probably get all of this because you could use it! Eventually."

Anyway! Oh yes! Mrs. Sherri asked me to do the graphics for Christmas Café! I'm pretty excited. I'm working on a few designs for when I meet with her and Pastor Stu on Monday. One of them is kind of Container Store wrapping paper inspired. haha. But yeah.

The weather is amazing right now! It makes me THAT MUCH MORE excited to go visit Taylor and Marie in Oklahoma with Erin in November! gah! I'm really, really excited! :D

In other news, I'm currently debating in my mind weather or not the new Mac 'Magic Mouse' would be a good investment for me...It's SO COOL! It's like a laptop trackpad on top of a mouse body! I'm leaning towards getting it...

So yeah, there's my life lately. How are you?

This Weekend...

...was wonderful!

Saturday I went up to Belton to visit Molly! It was a lot of fun. On the way there I listened to some indie bands: Grizzly Bear, The Decemberists, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. It was tight. I seem to have become an indie fan...haha. I've still got a whole bunch more to listen to...

Anyway, Belton was great! I got to meet Molly's lifegroup leader and her family, they were really nice! Sarah seems awesome for Molly, they're so alike! We watched the end of the OU/UT game and then Molly gave me a tour of Belton and UMHB which was great! There was a market going on in town and we got ice cream at this random place and went to a tiny free museum. It was cute, haha. Also, we went to we this lake and Belton Dam, which was cool. Then Molly gave me a (much shorter) tour of the UMHB campus. It's really nice. The weather was awesome! It was really quiet because it's their fall break.

THEN we went to the concert! After Edmund was really weird. They told us that they were from the future...which was odd. Also, they had one guy whose entire job was to sing into this vocoder. I must admit, that was cool. Also, they came out with glowing shirts, haha.

Tedashii was next, and I must admit that I was impressed. Though Jimmy Needham wasn't as impressive I thought.

Le Crae was really great. Though I don't really care for rap, Le Crae was so into the gospel! I mean, he spent more time preaching than rapping. It was tight. Oh! And Jessie Cook was there!

Then I drove home! haha.

After church today I saw Pippin! It was really good! It was a play about a group of actors performing a play. But yeah, Cy Creek always puts on great plays.

Then I hung out with Becca, Liam, and Renee at iHop, which was great.

Great weekend!

This is random, but...

will someone please tell me if Stockholm Syndrome is good?

Another Poem.

shine like stars

in the universe...

a staggering concept! It says:

be seen despite astronomical

distances!

a maddening precept! It begs:

remain bright long after

you're gone...

tell of something almost

unfathomable

incomprehensible!

...indispensable.

what's happening lately

So, since my last post I have become 19! I've started my second quarter at AiHN, and I've had my first day where I had to go into work three days in a row.

Here's my new quarter's schedule:

Monday 8am - Noon = Perspective Drawing

6pm - 10pm = Concept Design

Tuesday 6pm - 10pm = Graphic Symbolism

Thursday 1pm - 5pm = History of Design

6pm - 10pm = Digital Imaging (which is Photoshop class)

It's going great so far. These classes are much more graphic design oriented, which is cool, because it means most of the people are graphic design majors. All the people I've met are really interesting! There are more people there who have been in other jobs or colleges before the art institute than just graduated highschoolers. Also, I was nominated Graphic Design student of the quarter! haha. It's pretty exciting.

Austin

We saw this cool fountain, but it was off.

So, yesterday morning, Marissa, Liz, and I woke up really early and drove to Austin at 6:30 am. It was a freaking blast! The weather was really nice and we enjoyed it with the windows down like 45 minutes on the way there and like 20 on the way back. It was really foggy in the morning though.

So, we get to Austin and decide to eat at Kerbey Lane Cafe (which was great, I discovered Chocolate Coffee and had really delicious franch toast.) and Kyle Clarkson joined us after some confusion as to where exactly the Kerbey Lane Cafe was that we were at. Kyle ended up leading us around town for the day and we had a great time. We visited Lindsay Landry and had a (fairly awkward) visit with Megan Hanlon (awkward because Lindsay and I were the only ones who knew her, haha). The we walked down The Drag (which is apparently a shopping street in Austin, haha.) so that Marissa and Liz could look through the vintage-y clothing stores, which was pretty interesting. We went into the Co-op (big mistake) and drowned in the sea of burnt orange, only to go outside and be chased down the road by a mob of UT people rallying for the game yesterday.

Anyway, we had a LOT of fun and I hope we get to visit some other places on random weekends soon! haha.

BTW, I'm 19 on Thursday! There will be a party at my house Friday. Taylor, Molly, and Erin will be in town then! :D

peace.

Simplicity.

"Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common." Acts 4:32

In a feeble attempt to make something of this verse, what can I give you? Yes, you! You, reading this blog right now! Is there anything that you need? Anything that you want? I would love to share it with you. I'm trying to figure this verse out. So please, ask away! If what I have is truly not my own, I should be able to give it to you.

O Resplendent Light

I could see borders in the sky, where light and rain fell side by side. They both came down like a tide; one as cleansing water, the other, illuminating the countryside.

This is finals week for me! I like art finals. Then I have a week off, which just happens to coincide with my birthday :D 19! Then the new quarter!

Molly, Taylor, and Erin are all going to be in town next weekend! I'm really pumped. Party at my house! I'm shooting for that friday, but we might have small group? I just remembered that. We might not, but I'll have to see. Otherwise, can anyone host a party that friday? haha.

David Crowder Band's new cd, Church Music is fantastic! I've already listened to it like 3 times. haha. I'm going to see them in concert for Brian's birthday (the 3rd) on the third! 'Twill be awesome!

I feel like there's more happening right now, but I can't remember it.

Thank God for good friends. And family. They are such a blessing.

How are you doing?

Books

This is just a bunch of books that I have on my list to read (or reread) at the moment.

by Ted Dekker
Saint
Showdown
Renegade
Chaos
Lunatic
Elyon
Green

by Richard J. Foster
Freedom of Simplicity

by Andrew Murray
With Christ in the School of Prayer

By J.R.R. Tolkien
The Hobbit
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

This is going to take a while. I'm still reading Celebration of Discipline which continues to amaze me. It's a great read. I just finished Sinner by Ted Dekker, which was a great thriller, as most of his books are.

Names. NAMES! Names?

Let me just tell you something.

I have SO MANY stinkin' names to remember! It's crazy! I've gone through life up to this point where I had a database in my head of names that was at largest 400-500 names long. School, church, neighbors, relatives, family friends. It probably wasn't even that many. And it hardly fluctuated.

But NOW! Oh, let me tell you. I have SO MANY names to learn at once! I need to know the names of the people who attend college with me, the people I just started working with, all the Junior highers at the ABS I'm helping lead (did I mention that already? :). There are just SO MANY NEW NAMES! oh dear.

An Ode To Rain

It's raining at my house right now, which hasn't happened for at least a month. So here is an Ode To Rain, (hopefully) for your enjoyment!

I was driving home from my piano lesson when it started, and I decided that the perfect background noise for Nickel Creek is rain and a bit of thunder. It just sounded so good with 'Tomorrow Is A Long Time."

Also, here are some pictures I took of clouds that were raining when I saw them a few weeks ago:

"It's falling from the clouds,

A strange and lovely sound.

I hear it in the thunder

and the rain."

And here are some other rainy-day pictures:

The world looks more saturated after a good rain. The colors seem richer in the grass and plants. I would love to go for a walk right now, but I have a class soon. Maybe it will rain tomorrow too!

Triumph

Tonight, just as I was walking into my room I heard the Satan alarm
start to go off and I realize that I'm at that moment not in bed, not
almost asleep, and that all the lights are on--three things that have
never been the case before when the devil alarm has gone off. So, I
utilized my mobile status and found the demon watch and turned off the
horrible, horrible alarm. Finally. Triumph.

Legalism and Learning

If at all possible, stop reading this blog right now and go get the book Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster. I suggest reading it as soon as possible. It is full of things no one has ever explained to me before about being more like Christ.

Likewise, I started the book The Naked Gospel by Andrew Farley today and it is also full (so far) of things no one has ever explained to me before. Also, I need to read Hebrews as soon as I get a chance.

Here is something I've been thinking about lately. Whose idea was it to read one or two passages a day of the Bible? Why do we not read the Bible like any other book? I've been realizing that my legalistic quotas of Bible-reading-time are not doing anything for me. I need to start reading the Bible like a real book. That's not to say that the Bible isn't a real book, but it's so much more than any other book that I should at least be able to treat it like all the other books I read! It just doesn't make sense.

Tolerance

Here's a short post for you. Some interesting things that have coincided.

I'm reading this Ted Dekker book (Sinner) about the future where tolerance has made religion basically a secret.

On Monday in my College 101 class we talked about the goodness of tolerance. yay!

I was so conflicted!

How do I tell these people "Christ is the only way!" in a way that is loving? (And not "shoving down their throats"-ish.) That is a very popular stereotype of Christians.

I'm sure Driscoll or someone like that will tell me it doesn't matter when their souls are on the line, but I'm certain I can do this in a non-rude (and I say 'rude' loosely) way.

Oh the dabates that topics like these cause.

Things I Learned Today:

A Starfruit

Riding a bike for a long distance is painful when you don't do it for a month.

Metal dog food can lids are can be very dangerous.

My house has four different kinds of medical wound cleaner. My dad was unaware of that fact.

Pizza Fusion is too expensive for too little not-good-enough food. Sorry Eric, I just don't see the benefit.

Zac Efron is a better actor than Matthew Perry. (via 17 Again)

Elise Rojo is a very good singer!

Macs do not have the capability of putting folders together at the top of a list of files. (but that negative is WAY outweighed by numerous positives.

How to eat a Starfruit, and that they smell like roses; but taste like a cross between a lemon and an apple.

The order in which to read a whole bunch of Ted Dekker's novels.

charity : water.

So I stumbled upon this charity today and really like the idea. They give 100% of money they receive to fund water projects (such as building wells) in places that don't have clean water. They say that $20 will supply one person with water for life, and they sell 5 "charity : water" livestrong-esque bracelets for $20 here. If anyone wants to give me four dollars for one I'll order them and pay the shipping. And if nobody wants to, I probably will order them anyway.

Thoughts.

I've decided that it's been far too long since I've read the Lord of the Rings trilogy, so I shall start again soon.

There's a watch somewhere in my room that has gone off at 2 am for at least three months. Usually I sleep through it, but I've been awake when it's gone off the past three nights! I need to fix my sleep patterns, especially since I have to wake up at 3:50 am friday morning for work. hmm...

I've been considering buying a moleskine or using one of the blank ones that I keep buying because I like them so much to use for a sort of illustrate-my-way-through-the-psalms type thing. I don't know though. Thoughts?

So far my experiments with the new cameras are going great! I've put up to albums of them on my facebook page.

I'm just trying not to think about people moving away and/or my own uncertainties at this point.

Trey wants him, Riley, Eric, and I to start a Thinklings-type blog. I really like the idea. We're working through names.

Ai is getting better and better.

James Roberts has asked me to consider helping lead worship with him for the college and young singles group at church on Sunday mornings, but I don't know if I should. That possibility has been bouncing around in my head for a week or so. I would love to do it, but I don't know if I'm willing to commit to being there every week yet. I was considering visiting some other churches this semester-not because I'm looking for a different church, but because I'm curious about how other churches do things. Then again, I think I would really, really enjoy it. I will have to pray about it.

...What piano would I use though?

"I will not let go 'til you are."

I'm fairly certain that after this week everything will officially have changed.

This weekend has been a much needed chill-out time with my family and favorite cousin, Melody :) We're staying in a condo/hotel thing on the beach in Port Aransas (by Corpus). Our room is on the 8th floor and has a fantastic view of the shore:

I haven't taken a ton of pictures, but I plan on going on a walk a little later and photographing a bit of the town and beach and stuff.

Tomorrow we get back.

I feel like this week is going to be ridiculous.

Monday I've accidentally half-committed to do a whole bunch of different things with different people. I told some friends from school that I would have dinner with them at the Crepe Paris Cafe on Louetta and Steubner Airline, but I don't think that's going to happen because they haven't said anything more about it and I'd rather do the other things I have planned. I planned to do a photo shoot with Taylor so I can get some color stuff done with my new cameras (which I am excited about), also I'm playing volleyball with some people tomorrow (which I'm also excited about!). But it's also Melody's last night here :(

So yeah. Lots planned for tomorrow! Hopefully we'll get back early...haha.

I'm already looking forward to J&T in November!

I Am Understood?

Sometimes it's embarrassing to talk to you

To hold a conversation with the only one who sees right through

This version of myself

I try to hide behind

I'll bury my face because my disgrace will leave me terrified

And sometimes I'm so thankful for your loyalty

Your love regardless of

The mistakes I make will spoil me

My confidence is, in a sense, a gift you've given me

And I'm satisfied to realize you're all I'll ever need

You looked into my life and never stopped

And you're thinking all my thoughts

Are so simple, but so beautiful

And you recite my words right back to me

Before I even speak

You let me know, I am understood

And sometimes I spend my time

Just trying to escape

I work so hard so desperately, in an attempt to create space

Cause I want distance from the utmost important thing I know

I see your love, then turn my back and beg for you to go

You're the only one who understands completely

You're the only one knows me yet still loves completely

And sometimes the place I'm at is at a loss for words

If I think of something worthy I know that its already yours

And through the times I've faded and you've outlined me again

You've just patiently waited, to bring me back and then

You looked into my life and never stopped

And you're thinking all my thoughts

Are so simple, but so beautiful

And you recite my words right back to me

Before I even speak

You let me know, I am understood

The noise has broken my defense

Let me embrace salvation

Your voice has broken my defense

Let me embrace salvation

--"I Am Understood?"

from RK's Two Lefts

There is so much I relate to in here. "Through the times I've faded and you've outlined me again."

"Before I even speak, You let me know, I am understood."

I love that concept. God knows our problems and our praises. He knows our hearts. Our sinful selves try to get away, but he continually draws us near to him.

"Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear." Isaiah 65:24

Lomography? Yes.

35mm Fisheye Camera

This camera basically takes a picture in a circle format

instead of a rectangle.

Examples:

So tight!

35mm Action Sampler Camera

Basically what this camera does is take four pictures

on one negative over the course of 1 second.

Here are some interesting (albeit cute) examples:

Okay, so only one of them is cute, but still. haha.

I bought these two cameras yesterday from amazon and I'm really excited to get them in! :) These will be great to have for future experiments with Eric on Intentional Accidents!

I HAVE SO MANY MEMORIES!

This is a list of things that I've done or seen lately that have made me sad that some of my best friends are going off to college so soon. But they've also made me happy for all the great experiences we've had together!

Wearing my JH Band shirt today.

Finding my tickets to the Nickel Creek concert and the RK/Sherwood concert.

Not being in the band anymore.

The plastic grapes Taylor, Molly, Allison, (and Riley?) got me from the dollar store for my birthday one year.

Thinking about the trip to Austin last summer.

Going to Kids Camp.

'Tainted Love' the song, which came on in the container store the other day.

It won't be long until the Weather Clears and the Sun Shines Bright! We'll see it all then...

Eric and I have started a photography blog! Check it out at www.intentionalaccidents.blogspot.com

In other news, I've been really busy.

Kids camp was last week, Thursday through Sunday, and it was wonderful. I was sad that Taylor, Riley, Nathan, and Ryan didn't get to go this time, but it was still really cool because Molly and I got to switch off playing piano and both sung harmonies with Robby. Also, we did Days Of Elijah, which is quickly becoming one of my favorites. Of course Nick said his favorite song was the one time we did Superhero, but what can I say, that song is a Grade A classic. Also, Danielle was there! Which was exciting because I don't hang out with DG that often. The 5th Grade party was epic! 80s Prom themed, Molly looked even more like Elaine from Seinfeld than she usually does ;)

One of the days Molly, DG, AJ and I climbed the huge hill that the cabins are at the base of which is something I've always wanted to do. It was really tight because we basically started at the base of one side, climbed diagonally up to the top, the went diagonally down the other side. We passed behind all the cabins and ended up at the archery range, while we started at the ropes trail.

College is going well! I've decided my favorite classes are Tuesday and Wednesday from 1 to 5. They're with the same teacher (professor?) who I really like. They are Rapid Visualization and Observational Drawing. I'm liking OD the most I think because it's more of a drawing from still lives and stuff kind of thing. It's very relaxing. Today after the teacher was done lecturing and we got to drawing these four smaller compositions from the still life she had set up I hooked up my headphones and sketched for about an hour while listening to Brooke Fraiser, who I've found is really amazing. I love the combination of the fluid piano and the earthy sound the snare in the drum kit makes in most of her songs. In the Rapid Viz. class we're doing this project where we draw a specific thing in a whole bunch of different styles. I'm drawing birds and I think it's turning out well. I think birds are so interesting to draw because their bodies are very streamlined. All the lines are kind of congruent. I don't know if that makes sense, but it does in my mind. haha.

I was talking to Melanie tonight about the new bands and it was very bittersweet. :/ I think that they are going to be SO GOOD this year! I'm just a little sad to not be a part of them. I hope that if they ever need a fill in keyboard player or vocalist they will give me a call. But yeah, I'm really excited to hear them this Sunday!

I have Color Theory tomorrow...which I skipped last week to go to Kids Camp...hmmm.

Tubing Friday :D

I Wanna Lose It All For You

"Oh-oh, oh oh oh."

So. ROF n' BOF.

It went so well! I have so much respect for all of the guys in Rush of Fools. They were so gracious and kind about everything! They insisted we (BOF) go first when getting our lunch, they had nothing but compliments to give us, and they were very willing to talk to us and answer questions. It was really exciting.

The actual concert was realllyyy good as well! Our part went by much faster than I expected it would. All of the sudden we were playing the second to last song. It was bittersweet because it was my last set ever to play with the bands, and after three years I don't know what to do next, but I'm excited to be moving on to better things. Plus, the last song we played (Hosanna) has the chord 'Gsus' in it! I was really excited, haha. (favorite pun)

Ps - I'm on my way to Kids Camp! I'm so excited, though I'm going to miss the rest of the band that usually goes :( Molly and I will just have to make due.

A Thought

This just kind of fell into my head.

I'm in the industry of superficiality
Destined to fade into that reality
I'm so selfish for thinking it's about my exterior
The truth is that you are the truth and I am the inferior.

I'm in the Right Place.

Today in my Observational Drawing Class we were talking about why you lose track of time sometimes when you're drawing and I asked everyone if they are also annoyed by the question "How long did that take you?" And they all said something along the lines of "YES! I know EXACTLY what you mean! I don't know how long it took me! Do you think I time myself or something?"

They understand me!

haha. I thought it was funny.

College + random other things.

Here are some random art supplies:

So, I'm officially a college student. It feels weird because I haven't moved or done anything really different between High School and now. (Though I will not be looking back to Cypress Creek, ehh.) Anyway, here's my schedule:

Monday - College 101 from 1 to 3 pm and Computer Applications from 3 to 5 pm.

Tuesday - Rapid Visualization from 1 to 5 pm and Design Fundamentals from 6 to 10 pm.

Wednesday - Observational Drawing from 1 to 5 pm.

Thursday - Color Fundamentals from 6 to 10 pm. Which means no more Throwdown :(

So far my classes are going well. There are more people who are older and returning to school than I expected there to be. Also, there are only like 90 students at Ai! Isn't that weird? I guess that's what happens when you go to a new school.

I saw the new Harry Potter movie as an advance showing last night at Silverado 19! It was much better than the last one. They stayed with the story line for the most part. But I won't say anything else. Don't want to ruin it! But yeah, go see it.

Go read Molly's most recent post on her blog if you haven't. She says some good stuff about dating.

Anyway, Rush of Fools this weekend! Then Kids Camp! I'm excited, but I'm going to miss Taylor, Nathan, and Riley being there. :( And Ryan, too! But she wasn't going to go.

I've been listening almost exclusively to Jenny & Tyler lately. They sound so great! Their harmonies, jazzy piano, mandolin, guitar all meshes so well! Jenny's voice sounds so good with Tyler's! It's literally music to my ears.

time

I talked to time the other day

It shared with me many a way

To live long or short and diem, carpe

It told me how to bend and warp

The speed and direction, turning sharp

Toward the future and before the start

What I've Been Learning/Considering Lately

At camp Luke talked about offering God yourself daily, and that is something that has really stuck with me since he said it. In the morning it is refreshing and helps my confidence in dealing with sin in my life to offer myself to God.

I've been genuinely afraid that I'm going to fall into the same sinful routine that I was in before camp that I was convicted of. I've failed so many times before. Please pray for me.

I need to be content. I worry too much about the future and social things and other pointless human problems like that. I should be focusing on loving like I'm called to do, worshiping like I'm called to do, and sharing like I'm called to do.

Life can and probably should be so much simpler.

Just because I reach a conclusion on everything doesn't mean that it's the correct one. I make so many mistakes!

Things I'm guilty of knocking before I've tried them: Christian rap. The Shack.

Random Tangent: We we're talking tonight at the TNT afterparty about how The Chronicles of Narnia are okay allegorically while The Shack isn't. I was just thinking about all the things that are sketchy in Narnia (but I still love it). Lucy and Susan definitely party with Aslan and Baccus (basically the god of drunken partying), at the end of The Last Battle, a Calormene soldier goes to 'Heaven' because he lived like a follower of Aslan would live, even though he did all of those things in the name of Tash (basically the Narnian version of satan). Basically: There's a reason it's called fiction.

Thoughts on any of this?

Love's Gonna Last Forever!

Love's gonna last forever!

Love's gonna last forever!

Love's gonna last forever and ever!

Oh, Jenny and Tyler! You two treat my ears so well with your blissfully complementary voices and plethora of songs about love. Such a great band!

But, to change the subject: I'm worried.

But it's not really about anything majorly important, I just don't know how I can not lose my voice at camp! I mean, it's obvious, I just won't scream, but have you met me?! It won't be difficult except for the whole rec thing... I'm going to feel like crap not screaming my face off at rec!

I need alternatives! Should I just be the cheer-maker-upper? Or should I bring noisemaking devices? bah! Any suggestions, my friends? Yes, even you, person who I don't know reads my blog! What should I do?

I've Been Learning How to Die

I'm gonna miss you,

I'm gonna miss you when you're gone.

She says "I love you,

I'm gonna miss hearing hearing your songs."

I said, "Please. Don't talk about the end!

Don't talk about how every living thing goes away."

She said, "Friend,

All along, thought I was learning how take,

How to bend not how to break,

How to laugh, not how to cry.

Really, I've been learning how to die.

I've been learning how to die."

Hey everyone! I've got nowhere to go.

The grave is lazy...He takes our bodies slow-ly.

I've been learning how to die.

I <3 love.

I was just thinking about it, and I'll admit it: I really am a sucker for a good love song/story.

Despite the fact that I argue that Moulin Rouge is about a prostitute (which it is), Elephant Love Medley is a great song. I really liked the book The Notebook, though I have no plans to see the movie. I like it when my books have a love story somewhere in them that ties into the main plot. (And I'm talking legit love story, not like in Harry Potter where everyone decides to randomly make out.) Ted Dekker always has good love story sub plots. Jon Foreman has great love songs.

But I still don't like Taylor Swift's 'Love Story.'

Nope!

That is all.

Whirlwind

Rewind: Play starting Thursday.

Group interview at the Container store. It went well I think!

TNT was great. Riley, Tyler (Stamps), and I spent the night at Trey's house afterwards so we could leave early the next morning for Trey's grandpa's property like 4 1/2 hours north of here. It was great! I love camping with those guys (We all missed Eric and Brian!) We hiked a bit, scaled this tree by our tent, played around with Trey's baby Taylor and practiced our shooting (which was exciting, though I'm not a huge fan of guns) Friday and Saturday were really hot, but they were good for camping.

Saturday I got home and went out to eat with my parents and AJ (nick went to a friends house) for the 'last supper' before AJ leaves for Stanford in California.

The next morning (Sunday) I wake up early to take my parents and AJ to the airport. On the way back I run out of gas right before the Cypresswood exit on 249 and just kind of drift down off the highway with my four-ways on to the Lowe's parking lot where I got Tyler (Yates) to pick me up for church.

Steven Welch filled in for JM on drums and did a great job! I was really glad he played with us.

I painted a canvas while Darren was speaking on the stage and I think it went well. haha, I think all the adults were like "what is that disrespectful kid doing?!" in big church since I had my paint clothes on. I definitely enjoyed painting. Thanks, Darren!

I got home and napped. When I woke up I got on my laptop and then the power went out. lame. But I couldn't even tell it was raining, so I go look outside and it's raining CATS AND DOGS! My first thought is, the JEEP has NO WINDOWS! So I run out of my house to put the windows on (I couldn't open the garage door cause the power went out.) and I'm getting drenched and can't see very well cause there are water drops all over my glasses when I hear this CRACKTHUNK. I look over and see that the awning on the back of our house has broken off and covered the back doors. It was crazy.

Then it stops raining and I get Taylor to take me to get my car back from the Lowe's parking lot, which was a whole 'nother ordeal because my gas can didn't have the right nozzle and we had to get Taylor's parents to bring us a funnel. It was crazy, but we got my car back. Thanks Taylor/Taylor's Parents!

Then the Weises kindly offer to let me spend the night at their house because I still don't have power at my house (because my house always loses power for like twice the time as all the other ones.) They are so great! I they all called my within 30 minutes to ask if everything was alright with my car. It was kind of funny. But I definitely appreciate it. Thanks Weises!

The next morning I had a one-on-one interview for the job at the container store which I also think went well.

I got Nick back from his friends and we go swimming with Allison Short and then get Tyler, Kyle, and Nathan to come play Brawl, which was exciting.

This morning I got a call from the Container Store. I got the job! :D I am now a merchandise processor for the Container Store.

Piano lesson next!

Sine Wave

Today when I signed up for my classes, I wasn't thinking and scheduled one on Thursday evening, which means I'll have to miss most of Throwdown starting the week after camp, because the Art Institute starts on July 13. But I'm still excited to be starting classes soon!

Tomorrow I have an interview for a job at the Container Store that Taylor's mom has helped me get. We'll see how this plays out, because the job is from 5 to 10 am in the morning... and I'm definitely not a morning person. haha.

Random observation: I feel like a sine wave. Up, Down, Up, Down.

What a nerdy way to put things.

oh, and, 3.0! I heart sideways texting. Riley's right. I'm more excited about being excited than anything else. haha.

Random things I've been pondering:

1. I think I focus better when someone is speaking when I have my eyes closed. I'm too much of a visual person to focus on what a person is saying when they are wearing clothing with weird patterns or have a weird body type or something. I'm always trying to figure out how a clothing pattern repeats or where lines on something would meet if they extended farther.

2. I very rarely do things accidentally. Like, I pay attention to how I dress so much (and how other people dress) that it's more work for me to try to not think about what I'm going to wear than to just think about it.

3. I'm fairly certain I will never be able to play the guitar very well. There are too many places to put your fingers and they aren't grouped visually or anything like on a piano.

Apparently I'm a visual freak. Well, welcome to my life.

ps - my trial version of Adobe Fireworks CS4 expired. :(

The Jesus Painter

Jesus Painter Example

Okay, so if you haven't heard about this guy, then you can check him out by clicking here.

He's this guy that basically paints giant pictures of Jesus with his hands and sometimes paintbrushes on stage at churches and stuff.

Well, a couple of months ago, Darren asked me if I would be interested in doing something like that one Sunday in 249 and I thought it sounded like it would be interesting, so I agreed. Today he asked me if I'd do it this Sunday on the high school side. Exciting!

We'll see how this turns out...

Love.

How can I love God and others better?

It all comes down to that question.

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads." Deuteronomy 6:5-8

I pray that I can love God and love people as much as possible.

I hope that we can all make that our prayer. 

The next time I have an inclination to be rude or hateful I pray that I remember these verses.

The next time I feel the need to sin, I pray that I remember these verses and that I can remember that God will not let me be tempted more than I can bear.

Does anyone have any verses or things they do that help them love God and people? I'd love to hear them.

mmhmm

^"It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah.

"Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish! We don't play the major role. If we did, we'd probably go around bragging that we'd done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing."

Ephesians 2:1-10 (The Message)

Nostalgia

These past 13 years of school have been good to me.

That is why I would take a little bit to reflect on some important people and events that have affected me since I've entered grade school and exited it again a much different and better person.

(These are in no order)

First of all, I have started my relationship with God since starting school, and I have learned so much that has become invaluable in that relationship. And although I have so, so, so much more to learn about love and life and death and God, and although I have sins to overcome, nothing has brought me more joy than being able to worship the God of the universe and love and be loved by him. May I focus the rest of my life on him. May I be able to worship Him with my whole heart and mind and soul.

I don't think I can put into words how much my parents have selflessly done for me and my brothers during my school experience. They have not only helped me with homework, but they have taught me so many life lessons that I don't know how I could even function without them. 

All of you reading this have done so much for me too. I still have a thing of fake grapes in my room from that dollar store present for my birthday freshman year :) And I have so many concert tickets for Relient K, Nickel Creek, Switchfoot, David Crowder Band, etc. You have all been so exciting and fun. I'm so glad we got to have each other through the laughter at parties and kick the can ventures and making music together, and through the tears when things had to change and when things weren't working out; but they always worked out in the end. Thanks for all the leadership and random talks at Starbucks and at lunch on Sunday. I will never forget these times.

All that being said, I have no intention on lamenting the loss of my high school days. I look forward to finding new ways to love and worship God, to grow a family of my own and have giant Horst family gatherings, to create new memories with my friends and make new ones! As cliche as the subject of this whole blog is, I hope that I can equally appreciate my past and enjoy the present and not worry about what the future holds. Please try to pray for me as we all continue with our lives and I will try to pray for you. 

ON TO THE REST OF MY LIFE!

that is all.

A Random Update

I'm so close to college I can almost taste it. And it tastes of paints, pencils, and macintosh computers. I'm so excited about going to the Art Institute! They were supposed to call me Wednesday to find out when to sign up for classes, but I never got a call, hmm...

I haven't read any fiction in a while so I went on down to the Harris County Public Library off of Jones Rd and picked up the first two books of Ted Dekker's 'the Lost Books' series, which stems off of the Circle Trilogy. I must say, they're really good so far. I always love and get something out of Dekker's books. If you haven't read any of them let me know so I can lend you a few. 

Speaking of books, Nick started the Harry Potter series today! I'm so excited for him! :D

In other news, Obama's speech today 'to the muslim world' was really good. For what it's worth, I'm so glad we have an eloquent president.

I leave for Disney World on Sunday! Eeeee! I've never been, so I have no idea what to expect, but I'm sure it will be amazing.

Oh, also, I got the Sims 3 on Tuesday, and it has been eating a lot of my time. I've always loved the Sims games, and they just keep getting better! I'm currently working on a mansion for my sims (Yes, I used the money-getting cheats, but I like building the houses more than anything else in the game!)

College people are back in town! yay!

Something I Found; Something I Should Remember

I love this sketch.

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpgJMlfAzTc

Ramblings of a Delerious Person

I'm on the bus back from SNAP, so I shall blog to keep me awake.

It's really weird experiencing the last event of my senior year with
people that I have known since elementary school. It's like, we've all
spent the last 12 years getting to know each other and I probably
never see 98% of them ever again after next week. I am really exciting
to be getting off to college, it's just going to be so different,
which I guess will probably be good.

On a completely different note; I watched all the important parts of
the iPhone OS 3.0 preview on Apple's website on Saturday and it is
amazing what they're doing. Apple is essentially creating the first
computer that is truly, completely portable while still being
convenient. I really don't see how any other smartphone could compete.
If you get a chance, go watch the preview of the 3.0 software at
apple.com, it's amazing.

I used to see all these futuristic all-purpose gadgets of tv shows and
movies, but none of them have ever been as practical as the iPhone
seems to be.

More About Different Thinking Styles

This us just something I would like to add to the blog I posted the
other day about the different ways people think.

I wanted to address two very specific thinking styles that are
extremely opposite, and that just happen to be evident in my family
members. One thought process is Doing Things Because They Are Right.
My brother, AJ, and my dad both posess this thinking style naturally.
The other one is Doing Things Because They Are Beneficial. Now, this
is a kind definition for this thought process that both my mom and I
posess, because it sounds much more moral than it is. But we--and I'm
mostly speaking for myself in this post, though I'm pretty sure my
family would agree with my assessment--both feel the need to do things
that will benefit ourselves, despite their moral standings (within
reason). Being moral is something that I have had to learn through the
grace of God and from my brother and dad.

I felt the need to share this, because it is another great example of
different thinking styles in different people. I think it's
interesting to consider that we don't all think the same way about
morals naturally.

Also, this strengthens the concept for myself that we are saved by
grace alone, because sometimes I jest feel like, since AJ naturally
feels the need to be more kind and generous etc. than I naturally
feel, I'm not good enough. Now, that's not to say I blame all my
problems on my thinking and reasoning styles, because I don't. I have
learned to be a better person, and becoming a Christian has definitely
altered my thinking and reasoning. It's just reassuring that we are
saved by grace.

Laughs